constant bull shit

Well, I seem to have pretty much failed at this whole “blog every day for the month of November” thing. What can I say? Having your camel suddenly be put down and spending an entire weekend in a different state, not being able to keep a single piece of food down, kind of ruins the appeal. 

So, yeah… my weekend… flew to Georgia with Dave. One of his best friends was getting married. I was lucky enough to go along for the ride. The flight there and back was an absolute disaster between delays and bullshit charges added to our 1 piece of luggage. Not to mention, I got some type of stomach bug/food poisoning? I couldn’t eat a dam thing the whole time there and I puked a few times. YEAH!

Back to the wedding… death seems to follow me everywhere I go lately. It’s stretching me very very thin. Not exactly a very happy thought. I lost my alpaca to a strange illness. I lose my camel to an unexpected leg break that results in a put down. I discover one of Dave’s salt water fish dead in the tank.. and finally.. la piece de la resistance…. the bride’s father passed away the morning of the wedding. Yes, you heard me right, the bride’s father passed away the morning of her wedding. When I heard the news at the actual ceremony, I caught my breath in my throat and the very first thought that flashed into my mind was… “Not more death.” Granted, it was not a sudden death, he had been fighting an illness for a long time and was not going to be at the wedding anyways.. but still… what awful timing. 

I went back to work today. I don’t want to be there. I feel as if I am useless. I feel my animals leaving me one by one. 

The manager’s mother works the office and handles all the paperwork and office duties that go with running our facility. While I was filling out my vacation form for the time off I just took, she was on my case about getting our to farm pigs together. She informs me that the place they are going to is ready to take them. I told her I am working on it and female pig still wants to beat up male pig. Right now I have them side by side, yet separated by fencing. Manager Mother insists that we need to get them together as soon as possible. Exhausted and stressed by this situation I tell her, I can’t simply put them together and keep my fingers crossed. She proceeds to tell me I can at least keep them side by side all day now that the weather has cooled off. (before I could only keep male pig out there for a few hours in the morning, because his side has no shade and he overheats) I politely informed her that the pigs are in fact side by side right at that moment and will remain so all day. 

Later, I talked to Pig Lady. Pig Lady has her own pot belly pig rescue and she is taking our 2 pot belly pigs. She was the one who found our farm pigs their new home. In fact, pig lady has been the one actually talking to me about what is going on with the pigs and NOT manager mother. This is ridiculous Pig Lady doesn’t work for us.. manager mother should be telling me what the fuck is going on. 

Pig Lady is telling me that the new home is almost ready. She once again tells me that these things take time. This can’t happen over night. I agree with her completely and tell her that it is going to take me awhile to get the 2 pigs ok with one another. Oh and let’s back things up a bit. Pig Lady is telling me the new home is not quite ready yet, however, manager mother is telling me it is ready. Who’s telling the truth? I know it’s Pig Lady. Manager mother is manipulating the whole thing. Oh and Pig Lady does not want me telling manage mother that she has been talking to me. 

So today I spent a lot of time just watching and observing the 2 pigs. Male pig was always kind and curious and female pig kept rushing the fence, biting the wood and trying to get male pig. In fact, male pig did get nipped at the ear. 

On my way out of the office, manager mother tells me she got the ok from Lead Woman that the pigs can go to their new homes. Once again, manager mother pushes the issue to get the 2 pigs together. She then tells me that Lead Woman had a fantastic idea of putting the 2 pigs together for the first time in our biggest pasture, away from the pot belly pigs since female pig treats them like her children. Hmmm.. funny, I told her of this idea last week. 

I made the long drive home and I had a few emails waiting for me on my cell. One was from Lead Woman… it reads : “Just checking in on the female meeting male plan…. Do you want to try it on Friday when I am there?”

Immediately I am steamed… STEAMED. I know how lead woman operates now… I am getting an understanding about office politics. This email is not a gentle “I would like to help”, no this email was sent to me because Manager Mother probably contacted her and told her I was being difficult and dragging my feet at getting these 2 pigs together. I am absolutely CONVINCED that this is what’s going on. 

I am pissed and hurt at the same time… and utterly disgusted. What is my point of being there? No one… no one gives a crap about my opinion about these animals. I am so angry right now. 

My reply to her will be a simple, I am not comfortable doing that this Friday. My reasoning is as follows. 1) Due to warm weather and lack of shade, male pig could only be side by side with female pig for a few hours a day last week. The whole time, female pig still acted aggressive towards him. 2) Now that the weather has cooled off, I can put them out there, side by side, all day. 3) I was not at work yesterday due to my trip, so no, nothing happened yesterday. Today the pigs were not getting along and tomorrow, I will not be able to put them outside if it is raining like it is scheduled. Thursday is Thanksgiving and I will not be able to witness their activity… so that brings us up to Friday. Am I comfortable with putting them together.. HELL NO!!!! 

I strongly feel that female pig will go after male pig. So what can result? These pigs can really tear into each other. We are talking 500+ pound animals with a sharp set of teeth here. There can be some real damage done and I don’t want that to happen. Not to mention, should something severe happen that requires medical attention, I don’t want an animal put down because we don’t have the money to fix it! 

The other scenario, the pigs meet, there is a traumatic scuffle and then male pig runs away to the farthest corner of the large pasture. Female pigs insists and again male pig runs away. This continues and continues. So have we made any progress? NO we have not. Now we still have 2 pigs that are put together in a large place and they avoid each other. Hmmm… now how is that going to help when having to put them in a trailer together or putting them in a smaller pasture together?

So yes, I am pissed… really really fucking pissed. I can’t believe this bull shit. I am upset that my opinion never counts around there. I am upset that I never had any of their respect and it was all just an illusion. Oh sure, everyone loved it that I could make the mini horse slam dunk a basketball, the mini donkey dance or the male pig sit and shake… but when it comes to their actual care.. my opinion doesn’t count for shit. 

So really, what can I do? 

If Lead Woman insists that we put the pigs together, I can’t stop it. She is higher up on the food chain than I. I want no part of it. I am not going to sit there and watch as my male pig (once again another animal I raised from 5 months of age) gets beat up by female bitch pig because, all of a sudden this needs to be rushed. 

Oh and everyone’s solution is, just get all the ranch hands gathered around with sticks and be ready to get the two pigs apart. Ummmm … this is your plan?!? OK… did we also forget that people could get seriously hurt here as well? 

I hate going to work now. This bull shit makes me sick. I feel as though they are really hurrying to get rid of me. Perhaps the rush of getting rid of the animals is the only way to get rid of me. I don’t think any one really cares if I go. I think deep down, nobody really liked me nor respected me even as the years passed. 

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One Response to “constant bull shit”

  1. Dave Says:

    There is an unbelievable level of thoughtlessness here, and a lot of shameless manipulation. I am deeply angered for you by all this. It hurts me to see people being so reckless with the lives of others for so little purpose.

    It reflects more on them that they have not learned to respect you, than it does on you. It is tragic, though, that they hold so much sway. I will be here for you, no matter what happens.

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